So Many Red Flags, But Nobody Stepped In

It’s taken me decades, and a lot of distance, to process the trauma of being groomed at fifteen by my high school physical education teacher. The year was 2000, and everything in my life changed from the moment he entered it.

The Missed Red Flags

I was a bubbly, outgoing teenager who loved dance and had a wide social circle. But slowly, my bright world dimmed. My grades slipped. My artwork turned dark. I withdrew from the people who cared about me most. The red flags were everywhere, but nobody stepped in.

That’s the thing about grooming. It’s a particularly sinister form of child sexual abuse because it hides in plain sight. It doesn’t look like danger. It looks like kindness, attention, and special treatment. To a child, those patterns of behaviour can feel flattering, even though they’re anything but safe. For me, what was in fact a cycle of manipulation and abuse made me feel as though I had been “chosen.”

I was only fifteen. A happy-go-lucky teenager.

Grooming Doesn't End When School Does

At the time, Queensland had not yet introduced special care laws. That meant the only illegal behaviour was what happened before I turned sixteen. But by then, I was already trapped-isolated from my friends, my family, and my community. It took me fourteen years, including marriage and children, before I found the strength to leave and pursue justice.

This is why I founded Step in For Kids. The name reflects my story and my mission: to help others recognise the signs of grooming and to show that it only takes one adult to step in to change the entire trajectory of a child’s future. In my case, nobody stepped in- because they didn’t see the red flags, or they didn’t know how.

Stepping in for kids through advocacy and education is my mission today.

It takes courage to step in. But your knowledge is protection. If you work with children, or have children, you can be the difference.

I hope you’ll follow along this journey, share our programs, and use the resources we’re building. Every person who understands grooming a little better is helping protect another child from its devastating reach.

My mission is simple: to turn my lived experience into prevention, so that fewer children are left waiting for someone to step in. Because they need us to.

Sarah.